I know I am supposed to tell you about my life while I am away and keep you updated and all sorts of that fancy stuff and what not. But let’s face it, because anybody who knows me knows, I suck at small talk. I am truly terrible at it. So why should I make you suffer through reading what I have suffered much to write. And then we can all pretend that we enjoyed the charade of reading about what I ate (or didn’t eat) for lunch. If it is insisted upon I will fill you in on such tedious details briefly. Followed by what I am learning in life, which is much more interesting and I am greatly better at discussing.
I work in the kitchen. Not every day, rather every other Saturday and Sunday, for sixteen hours in total. Thirty-two hours a month. Eight hours less a month than the normal two hours a day has you working. It is a pretty good deal too because you can eat more and pick something different if you don’t like what is being served. Plus I get to say all sorts of random stuff to people as they come through to get there food.
I have had quite a many adventures here so far. Such as: breaking our toilet by flushing the toilet roll holder down it on accident (Yeah, I didn’t know it was possible either). Or losing my bathing suit in the ocean, in a wave to be precise that, once gone, left me on the beach; out of the water. Thank God that it was at night and the only people super close were girls that I knew. Did I mention those were both in the same day? I also happened to have one of my roommates twist her ankle worse than any that I have ever seen, while we were walking to get me a drink. But my wonderful friend and her husband also surprised me, which was great. And I have learned quite a few things, including dance styles that I have never had the opportunity to do before.
I am learning to serve without recognition and keep a good attitude. I am learning to follow. I am learning that I am not always right and that I do not always know what is best for me. I am learning that even when people do things the harder, longer, less successful way, if it still works, sometimes I should just mess up with them and let them figure it out. I am learning that respect should be given even if it isn’t earned (to an extent). I am learning that submission means that you do something you don’t like. I am learning that keeping a good attitude is actually easier than having a bad one. Mostly because it makes you happier (don’t get me wrong, the struggle is still difficult but the state of mind is easier on you as a person). I am learning that love requires feeling. And in order to really love someone or something, you have to break yourself a little, so there is room for it to fit. I am learning that most things in life are difficult.
But what I want to discuss is what I am learning about Temptation.
First, however, there are two things I want you to know.
1. I often use words that do not exist. Like turning nouns into adjectives and adding prefixes or suffixes that shouldn’t be there. I know they are not in the dictionary but I use them, thus they are a word. I am only telling you this so that I don’t have to explain later.
2. I have not read every version of the Bible. But I have seen quite a few. As far as I know an apple is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. When it comes to the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you can think it is an apple if you would like to. If it makes it easier for you to picture something or draw the fruit, that is all right too. But I have one question for you, if it was really an apple should you really be eating it still? I know it was not about the fruit but the choice, yet still, it is a little irkish, or perhaps just odd, to me.
All right, now I am ready to discuss the TEMPTING.
Temptation is a funny thing that really holds no humor when you think about it. It changes its face so often that it becomes harder and harder to recognize. It is something that builds upon itself; taking less and less for us to give in to it each time it surfaces its ugly head.
Revealing the weaknesses we did not know to recognize as our own.
I find that there are times when we battle temptation, that our defense weakens instead of grows strong. That in fighting a battle, instead of being strengthened in our victory, we recognize our temptation and that makes it easier for us to fail the next time.
Do we not feel proud when we look away from all that we desire but cannot possess? Do we not feel triumph at our strength to turn down the delicious thing that will kill us in the end?
Perhaps.
What decides when it strengthens us and when it enables us?
It is not the victory that weakens us. It is dwelling on what we defeated, instead of rejoicing in victory.
May I give you an example?
Assume with me for one moment that you cannot have chocolate, for whatever reason. You are out with friends and someone offers you chocolate. You turn it down and thank them. Maybe you even make the effort to purposefully walk away. You congratulate yourself on your success and examine all the reasons why you cannot consume the chocolate. You tell yourself how well you did. You have walked away and you have overcome but the issue is this: your mind is still focused on the chocolate; the temptation. It is consumed by it.
So it is not the triumph that weakens us, nor even the acknowledgement of our weakness, but dwelling on the temptation that weakens us.
Thinking about temptation may be the first step to giving in to it but it is also the first step to overcoming. It is where our thoughts, and hence our actions, follow after that determines whether we fall, or rise.
I will explain further. It is not so much knowing our weakness, but dwelling on our temptation that is the issue.
You disagree? Allow me a moment to explain.
The first time someone shows you something that you cannot have and you realize that you want, it weakens you.
Interestingly enough, the fight to defeat temptation and stand strong, and the fall toward it, begin with the same steps.
Let us take a look.
The steps to giving in to temptation (In Order):
1. The knowledge that you want it.
2. The reason that you cannot or should not have it.
3. Thinking about it (even why you can or should not have it).
4. Breaking down the fences.
5. Compromise.
6. Retreat.
The steps to fighting temptation and winning (After step one there is no particular order):
1. The knowledge that you want it.
2. The reason that you cannot or should not have it. (You only need one to three. Any more and you have slipped into step three of the loser’s list.)
3. Walk away (remove it if you can).
4. Prayer.
5. Accountability.
6. Fill yourself with Good so you won’t desire the evil. (Scripture, the good that is opposite, etc.)
7. Find the root of the issue, don’t focus on the small part of it that tempts you, then fix it. (Why do I want things that are bad for me. Why is this a struggle. Not why do I like this. Why can’t I have this.)
Notice how the first two are the same? The choice comes once you have already begun the process.
It is in the course of convincing yourself not to do something that you can so easily fall to why you should do it.
Consider the fall of man.
It didn’t start with a bite. It started with a thought.
Think of Adam and Eve.
A garden full of wonders and delights. Fruits and Vegetables and Plants. Animals roaming freely and in peace. Harmony with God as they walked side by side with him. What more could they desire? They had everything that they could ever need. All that they could ever want.
There was only one thing that they could not have. One tree from which they could not eat.
No big deal right? I mean seriously, think of all the things that we have on earth. Every plant. Every tree. Every fruit. They had all of them. In abundance. Every single one of them. And they were content. Not only content but Ecstatic! They were seriously rocked by God’s love. They could not imagine a desire for anything more.
And then there was the serpent.
Crafty little thing as it was, it came to tempt; to steal, kill and destroy. But not the way that you would think.
The serpent didn’t outright tell Eve that she could eat the fruit. It didn’t even mention any specific tree. Instead of an ambush Eve was met with a question.
“Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1 Emphasis mine).
Seems harmless, right. Think about it. How many times are we presented with similar questions?
On a diet? Do you not often hear the question, “So you can’t eat ANYTHING that tastes good?”
As a Christian, “So you can’t have ANY fun?”
Harmless enough, right?
Sure. Until we defend it. The seemingly simple and generic question, creates an accusing tone that automatically puts us on the defense of the real issue. Our minds jump to what we cannot have.
How about we look at what happened next.
Eve’s reply to the serpent’s question?
“We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
“You must not touch it.” Where did that come from?
Eve had already drawn a line. Even farther away from the tree than God had required of her. When we see God’s instructions in Genesis 2:17 “You must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die,” we see that He only instructed them not to eat from the tree. He never said, as far as we see from scripture, that they could not touch it. But that is where they stood. Away from the tree: Away from temptation.
They did not even know that they wanted it. They were satisfied.
But NOW Eve was thinking about the tree. She was explaining why she could not eat it. And suddenly the rules became unsturdy.
(Here is her conversation with herself in my head.)
Eve’s mind: “I will die if I eat it. And God said not to and He made me and everything so He has to be right and I love Him so I wouldn’t want to disappoint Him. I can’t eat it. I can look at it. Now that I think of it, God didn’t actually say we couldn’t TOUCH it. Only, that we couldn’t eat it. I could probably touch it now that I think of it. It actually looks pretty good. It looks just like the fruit that we eat all the time. Pretty fulfilling. I am definitely not eating it but I can look at it, it seems more reasonable that I can look at it.”
And all of a sudden, in that moment Eve realized she wanted it.
Well, duh! It wouldn’t be temptation if we didn’t want it! Exactly. Stay with me for a second, it might make sense eventually.
Back to Eve’s mind. “Well, God did say I would die if I ate it so I definitely cannot do that! I cannot eat the fruit.” Now, what had before never been an issue, was the only thing on her mind. Even if she was telling herself why she could NOT have it she was still thinking about why she WANTED it.
Back to the serpent. “You will not certainly die, … For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4-5).
Eve’s mind: “Well of course I will die. God said I would die. I can’t eat it because I will die. Adam will die we can’t eat the fruit. The delicious, vibrant, juicy looking fruit. That fruit. Just that one. Why can’t it be that one over there that I can’t eat? Hello, this one looks way better. Why does this one need to be so good looking? But it is and I can’t have it because God doesn’t want me to. Maybe it will open my eyes, it is called the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God would want me to know about good. How else am I supposed to be good if I don’t know what good is? But I can’t have it. I shouldn’t have it. Even if I wanted it I couldn’t. But it does look good.”
She was thinking about it. And she took a step closer. Just to examine why she couldn’t have it exactly.
“At least I can touch it. He didn’t actually SAY that. It is really smooth and it is going to kill me. Or make me really smart.”
She reasoned. She told herself why it was wrong. She had all of the answers. But she dwelled on it. And as she dwelled she stepped closer and closer. Then she picked it up. She felt it. She smelled it. And she realized somewhere along the way she had crossed the fence. And eating it didn’t seem like such a huge leap, now it was only a small step. And plus it wouldn’t REALLY kill her. Maybe if she took only a small taste. She held it to her lips. Opened her mouth. And bit. The sweet nectar filled her mouth. She chewed. She swallowed. She handed it to her husband. He ate. The world fell.
All because she realized that she wanted it.
Obviously there is more to it than that. And that really isn’t the issue. The issue comes when, after giving a few reasons why you can’t have it (one, two, at most three), you continue to think about why it is wrong and it becomes all you think about. And to convince yourself why you can’t have something, you begin to examine why you want it and slowly you talk yourself into it one step at a time.
How do we fight something that weakens us just by acknowledging that we are fighting it?
Well we cannot do it alone if that is what you were thinking of. Maybe the step of why you can’t have it is a good one, just not one that can be handled alone. Sound arguments are best heard from the mouths of others. We can convince ourselves of anything.
What do you think would have happened if Eve had asked someone else? Someone who wasn’t tempted by the fruit?
“Yeah, you are totally right we should eat that and die. Awesome! Can’t believe we haven’t thought of this yet!”
Yeah, probably not. I’m thinking it would have looked more like this:
“Hey, we agreed we weren’t going to even touch that stuff remember? Why don’t we look over here. This fruit is just as good. It tastes Amazing and it fills us completely! Listen, if you still have questions about it, why don’t we talk with God ourselves and see if He can explain?”
Eve was supposed to have an accountability partner. His name was Adam. Problem was, Adam, instead of standing strong and reasoning against the fruit, just stood there, silently.
Here is where Adam failed. He saw his wife reasoning. He saw her compromise. And instead of guiding her, he looked the other way.
You see, I don’t think the temptation for Adam was the fruit. I think it was the woman.
Why do you think the serpent went to the woman in the first place?
They both needed to eat it, right? But knowledge wasn’t the temptation for Adam.
While Eve defended to the serpent, Adam stood there.
He didn’t say a word.
The moment Adam stood there, silently, and failed to help Eve defend their decision to not even touch the tree, he realized that he desired the woman more than he desired God.
And his defense?
“The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” (Gen. 3:12).
Even his excuse focused on Eve.
For Adam, it was about the woman; for Eve, the fruit.
Eve loved knowledge more. Adam loved the woman more.
But in the end their temptation was the same: themselves.
And they both fell, naked into death.
And it all started with a thought.
How could Eve have gone the other way?
“I want the fruit. But God said I couldn’t have it and it will kill me and I love Him. I need to walk away and seek the Lord. Lord help me not to want the fruit. I should eat some other fruit so then I am not even hungry. Then I will not want the fruit. Adam, Lord, I have a desire for the fruit that is going to kill me I need your help to strengthen me.”
So next time you find yourself staring at chocolate (or whatever) that you can’t or shouldn’t have what do you do?
You see it. You recognize that you can’t have it. You tell yourself the reason why. You give yourself a reason to not give in. You walk away.
Here’s the choice.
You can either continue to convince yourself of why you can’t have it:
I am so glad I didn’t take the chocolate. I am so glad I walked away. Especially because that sounds so good and it is right there. I can’t have it though, because I am on a diet. I have been eating well. I really am making progress. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal but I am glad I didn’t take it.
You walked away but you are still thinking about the chocolate. It is still on your mind.
Or you congratulate yourself and move on. Talk with God and an accountability partner and together find the root and change it:
Instead, you tell yourself you can’t have it. You made a decision not to. It is bad for you. Good job on walking away. You change the topic in your own mind. Tell someone about your struggle, maybe ask that the option be removed. Tell them to not let you have it. Definitely pray. Eat some celery or something healthy so you’re not even hungry. (I realize this step looks a lot different depending on the temptation but you can work that out with whoever is holding you accountable.) Figure out why you want what you can’t have and address the issue head on. In the open. But no more thought about chocolate. Just why you want what you can’t have.
Does it make sense or am I still confusing?
It is all right if you don’t understand. Or even don’t agree. But this is what I think and it has worked so far. Unfortunately, both ways.
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