It’s funny to me that we think we are supposed to be happy all the time. By we I mean Christians. Joy is not always portrayed through a smile. But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself. I shall explain.
I have grown up going to church and to be honest with you, I am not all that fond of the practice. Because that is exactly what it appears to be: Practice. Practice at being happy, good, nice. The problem is there is an unfortunate lack of follow through in times that are not practice.
This, however interesting it may be, is merely foundational to my point and not the point itself. Thus we move on.
I have worked so hard for so many years to be everything that the church is not. I don’t want to be the quiet one who meekly agrees to anything, pretending that an opinion is something I do not possess. While, I will admit, I may have gone too far to the other side, expressing my opinion at every opportunity, I have since corrected my behavior and can now actually do something I disagree with without expressing such an opinion. That said I will move on to what I set out to share.
The question: how do we expect to portray a God of truth if all we offer are fake smiles and pleasant facades?
My point in saying that I grew up in church was not to criticize it. It was simply this: to portray that I have never been expected to sit back opinionless, with no say and slap a shiny smile on my face to tell the world that everything is okay! But I have recently found myself in situations that expect just that. Not from everyone, but one is enough.
I can’t help but feel repulsed by the hypocrisy of such an expectation. Did Jesus always smile? It’s a simple enough question, the answer almost equally as simple to find.
John 11:35 “Jesus wept.”
Matthew 21: 12 “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.”
I doubt that in any of these scenarios Jesus had a ridiculous smile on his face.
My problem is this: if we claim to be living a life that is portraying Jesus, than should we not do that and do it accurately and whole heartedly?
Luke 22:42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Do you think Jesus didn’t have his own opinions? He continuously argues with the religious leaders of the time, the Pharisees and Sadducees.
Did He have the right only because of who He is to express His opinion? Perhaps it is different than disagreeing with the way things are done in life or simply presenting an easier alternative, but does that make it wrong to do such things?
Hardly. If we were meant to figure everything out for ourselves, meant to be in charge with no need for help as so many people seem to strive to be, meant to control, than why did God not just make Adam and call it good because there is no need for anyone else if we are that self-sufficient.
There is nothing wrong with having an opinion. Let me say it again just in case it hasn’t quite sank in yet. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion. I am really glad I finally let that out. Revelation one: complete.
Revelation two: You can be joyful without smiling. You can even be joyful without being happy.
When I look at disease, poverty and orphaned children I am not happy. A smile is the farthest thing from me. Yet, I am still undoubtedly filled with the Joy of a God who loves me. Filled with Joy at my opportunity to live on this earth. Filled with Joy at the chance to make a difference in this world. I don’t need to smile to show the world that I’m joyful.
When presented with the thought of a constant smile playing my face I encounter the thought of performing. When on stage, unless you are supposed to be conveying a specific emotion, you are Always supposed to smile. Come mess up, fatigue or pain that smile remains painted across your face and you don’t even flinch. Annoying enough for the stage, but who would really want to live like that: a constant performance. Exhausting does not even begin to describe the feeling.
Please do not misunderstand my plea for honesty to mean that we should mope around, throw fits or constantly argue that we know the best. The only result I hope for, I pray pleadingly for, is this: that people will actually tell the truth. Not cover it up in some sugar coated reality just because they are a Christian and think that everything in their life is supposed to be going well.
We all have days where we just want to turn over when we wake up and go back to the peaceful illusions that accompanied us in our sleep. We all have moments that we just need to breathe without the stress of explaining anything. And we all have moments where we wish we could just throw our own version of a child’s fit, however that looks to us (I have no doubt you have the self-control to stop yourself but don’t tell me you don’t have the impulse).
I don’t think that we need to always speak our mind, nor that we should ever do so rudely. But I do think that we should be real enough to tell it like it is. I am tired of plastic faces and masks to painted on that the people wearing them have forgotten they are not actually their faces. I wonder sometimes if they even remember what they really look like. I don’t want to be that way.
I serve a God that is real. A God that loves and made me wonderfully full of emotions. Not to be a roller coaster of ups and downs but a real human being with a real heart, a real personality and some really REAl flaws.
That’s who I am a flawed human. Saved by grace. Welcomed into the arms of a loving Father. Equipped to do the will of God without grumbling but still perfectly myself and not afraid to offer my opinion when the time comes.
The point of Christianity is to follow a God that loves His children so deeply that He sacrificed everything for them. Our part is to show the world love and truth and hope. Fake smiles and pretending that we don’t hurt to a world that is so broken goes against everything that we hope to show. It is in itself a shadow that we cast over the light that we are hoping to show.
All I propose is this: That instead of faking our way through life and showing the world what we look like on stage, we show them our scars. All the things that hurt us. How we fail and fall down and break and show them how it is that we climb back up from the dust. How we heal and continue on with the cuts and bruises still so fresh and raw. That we show the world the love that heals us and continues to heal us every day even through the pain that we seem so afraid to show is there.
That’s all I want to see. The truth. Just a glimpse of reality. And maybe eventually that glimpse will grow into a steady stream of light until we are completely engulfed in the light of the truth.
